The grain...

Grace means sometimes going against the grain. While it may seem that one who was living gracefully would want to be compliant and agreeable, I am apt to disagree that this is the proper action given our time. If we lived in an era where life was peaceful, children were always loved and cared for, men felt respected and admired, and women carried themselves with elegance and charm, then yes, this would be a time that falling in with the rank and file would be acceptable. It would be an environment that would lend to a type of living marked with points of universal generosity, exuberance and compassion. Unfortunately, we do not live in such a time.

When what is normal is selfishness, narcissism, greed, and little respect or regard for your fellow men, women and children, it is important to put your lovely foot down and proclaim that this is not the way for you. While the idyllic world I painted in the first paragraph sounds easier, it is in times like these that you can truly strengthen your character, and your resolve, while making a greater impact on the world around you.

Let's consider the hallmarks of today's society, specifically, what things are recurring day in and day out that are severing people from their humanity, and creating an environment that is isolated, unfeeling and lacking in grace.

It has been said that we are living in an era of "instant gratification." As noted with the recent economic downturn, people wanted homes before they could afford them. We consume resources at a rate greater than our planet can sustain us. We communicate at lightning speed without much regard for our listener, drive faster than ever, and have shorter attention spans. The result is destruction, lack of quality, chaos, depression, disconnect and a focus on negative drama to keep up with the pace of our lives.

So how should we begin to help turn the tide? To start, if everyone's going fast, slow down a bit and if everyone's being loud, whisper. Return the environment to a space of calm, beauty and nurture. Cultivate peacefulness. For today, try doing everything slower, reveling in how the pace lets you appreciate what you are doing even more. Seek out the beauty in the ordinary, and then begin sharing it with others. If you whisper, will it help you to listen to your heart? If you slow down a little, will you be able to perceive more of the beauty in the world, and appreciate the qualities that exist in others? Will it also bring you more peace?

For this week: Try out the above practice and let me know how it impacts you. What new experiences did you have? How difficult was it to slow down? Was it easy to do it alone, but you felt instantly rushed when with others? Did you feel the need to speed through life again because others wanted to sprint through it? What things did you find yourself thinking about going slower? Let me know in the comments below.

Incredible...

This weekend, I attended a consciousness expo, filled with an array of spiritual and alternative health displays. There was one area that I was drawn to, featuring books on femininity and wellness, and in my head I was saying, is there something here that I can find and learn about grace. Moments later, the women there offered a bag full of cards and said to draw one out. My boyfriend reached in first, and I reached in second. Here is what my card said:

Ananchel
The Angel of Grace

Ananchel means "grace of God" and she is here to offer you the experience of an open heart allowing the love of God to pour in.

I started erupting in a fit of giggles. It was just what I was looking for, and I couldn't believe that it was exactly what I had chosen. I found a special place to keep the card as a reminder to live with grace everyday.

What has happened in your life lately to remind you to live more gracefully?

In Search of the Graceful Muse

It began over dinner... a beautiful little Italian restaurant on Larchmont. I sat with a dear friend who was about to move out of state to join her husband who had obtained a position with a new law firm. We discussed the challenges she faced, moving close to her husband's family at a time when they faced a variety of trials, taking what life dealt to us in stride and how it was imperative to face these things with grace. And there was that word...grace.

There seems to be so little of it nowadays. We stepped out of the restaurant and wandered across the way to a newsstand and perused the various covers, looking for examples of public figures that personified this quality, and we were struck with the fact that so little of it exists. A sliver of it was there, mostly in foreign dignitaries, and perhaps much of that allure was based in the fact that we knew so little of them... and that may be where the first part of grace is created.

Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Princess Diana, Jacqueline Kennedy, bygone emblems of grace, and a part of what was so wonderful about them was that there was so little that we knew. Women that were photographed, studied and written about, and yet they controlled what was revealed, both physically, mentally and emotionally, creating an air of mystery that usually inspired others to give them traits of charity, compassion, understanding and femininity that they may or may not have possessed. While obviously self-assured, they possessed a subtle question mark in their form, in a way proclaiming, "You know much of me, but not all."

This seems to be what we have gotten further and further from in this time. Everything is revealed; there is no space to move, to expand, to question. The saying goes "Gracefulness has been defined to be the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul" but so much of this revealing is tantamount to saying, "What I am is not enough, I must seek validation outside of myself." A trick of Alfred Hitchcock's was to use his films to validate his phobias by making sure others were scared of the same things. By constantly exposing and seeking acceptance of our own self-loathing, we make it right to not embrace who we are. Begin today by keeping your first secret: Admit to yourself that you are exactly who God and the world need and want you to be.

When you move throughout your day, remember this fact. Don't tell anyone that you read this and are trying it out. Don't tell people that you are in need of improvement and are giving this new thing a go. Keep this promise to yourself, a little secret between you and your heart, a little mystery that only you know about. The twinkle in your eye will be the first sign that you have begun to find your graceful muse.