Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Seeking Out The Best In Others

To see things in the seed, that is genius.
Lao Tzu

I had the recent pleasure of watching a truly graceful woman in action and picked up on a wonderful trait that I wanted to share with you.

In planning an upcoming event at her mother-in-law's home, she was in charge of bringing a varied group of people together to navigate and coordinate a quickly-approaching party. There were contractors, clients, assistants, the homeowner, the event planners and many others, all vying for her attention, describing their burdens and trying to please her. And what did she do? She asked what everyone else was looking for, and guided them to their greatest potential. Everyone was assured of the competency of others, and it created a great tone for the entire group as everyone felt heard, felt that their role in the event was acknowledged and would do anything to make the event a success. But she never made a demand. She simply asked what was needed to make them happy, and had the highest hopes for everyone to do their best.

I think this is a remarkable trait for all graceful women to have. I think setting the standard for ourselves to be our personal best is only magnified when we also honor and encourage this same behavior in others. No one wants to feel like so little is expected of them. They want the opportunity to rise to the challenge, and aiding them in doing so can be one of the most selfless and rewarding acts.

Who around you has the potential to reach further than they already have? Perhaps it's a child that struggles in a certain subject, but excels in others. Maybe it's a spouse who is frustrated with their job or has health concerns. Don't remind them of their troubles, but instead remind them of their strengths. Help them rise to the challenges they face in life by showing your unwavering faith in their potential. Don't think of how their troubles add to your own, but how instead their unique and wonderful attributes (and most people have many) enhance your life.

A grander part of this is realizing you already have everything that you need, and now it is your turn to give to others. Give peace of mind, give kindness, give friendship. These are all contained in you and abundantly so.

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