Romance at Short Notice...

When I was in second grade, we were experiencing one of our worst winters, making it impossible to go out for recess. As an alternative to all of us becoming completely stir-crazy and suffering from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) our school chose to have Hawaiian Day. We were all allowed to wear our beach clothes (under our coats, of course), suntan lotion and sit on beach towels instead of at our desks. It was wonderful, and all these years later I still remember how much fun it was to listen to the Beach Boys in Mrs. Gaston's class while practicing Arithmetic.

So why the walk down memory lane? Well, I think we can all fall victim to BLAD, Busy Life Affective Disorder, (I just made that up) where we forget to inject a bit of fun into our lives in lieu of tackling deadlines, staying late at work or just not making time for it. It's hard to see the sun when dealing with tough commutes and overloaded schedules, and your weekends are spent tackling all the personal errands and tasks you've been putting off all week. Well, why not take a tip from my elementary school and invite the outdoors in? With a minimum amount of planning, you can turn an evening at home into a day at the park. Behold, the indoor picnic!

To set the scene, lay out a blanket that you don't mind getting crumbs on, along with some throw pillows for additional comfort. I like having a cutting board or two handy to create a more stable surface for cups, food, etc. as lumpy blankets aren't necessarily the most reliable places to set things. A little wine (don't forget the corkscrew) and some candles are a great touch, and a candle that smells like Macintosh Apples is a great way to enhance the feeling of being outdoors while in. Have lots of finger foods such as pre-cut fruit, assorted cheeses, crackers, veggies, anything that makes you think picnic. If you're with your honey, you might want to check out "Gayot's Top 10 Best Aphrodisiac Foods," to add a little more fun to the mix. Using disposable plates and cups means less clean up afterwards. I also recommend having paper towels and hand wipes handy, along with a bag to put any wrappers or trash in, so you don't have to keep getting up to go to the kitchen and disrupting the mini-vacation.

Quick note: I highly recommend putting on comfy clothes for this. Jeans can be awkward to sit in and shoes are forbidden! Also, shut down all phones, blackberries, computers, etc. You're not supposed to have cell service all the way out in the wilderness.

To enhance the ambiance, you could put on some nature sounds, like wind in the trees, a summer rain, or waves crashing on the beach, or find some of your favorite songs that invoke that sort of carefree spirit, remind you of the outdoors or just make you happy. Here's my top picks, and feel free to send me your ideas.

1. Ray LaMontagne - You Are The Best Thing (Great song and lyrics with Ray's soulful voice)
2. Bob Dylan - Lay Lady Lay (Across my big brass bed, or picnic blanket, whichever)
3. Beach Boys - Wouldn't It Be Nice (Just reminds me of that sweet early love when anything's possible)
4. Phil Phillips - Sea of Love (Perfect to imagine cozying up to your honey on a beach blanket)
5. Van Morrison - Sweet Thing (Such an easy song to listen to with romantic lyrics)
6. Joel Strummer and the Mescaleros - Mondo Bongo (If you saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith, this is the one they danced to in the rain when they first met. Swoon!)
7. Bob Schneider - Moon Song (Another great beach blanket song)
8. Van Morrison - Into the Mystic (The lyrics invoke the wind, the sea and rocking your gypsy soul)
9. Antonio Carlos Jobim - Corcovado (Quiet Nights of Quiet Stars)
10. Norah Jones - I've Got To See You Again (Bossa Nova rhythms)

Happy In-Picnic-ing.

A Bittersweet Story... Make Way for Tomorrow

I was sidetracked tonight in my attempt to see Breakfast at Tiffany's at a Hollywood Cinespia Screening (the line to get in was incredible), so instead, I opted to watch a movie I've had on my queue and have been avoiding for a while because of its very serious and potentially sad tone. The movie is "Make Way for Tomorrow" a film from 1937 starring Victor Moore and Beulah Bondi as an elderly couple who have fallen on hard times, lost their home, and are now having to live apart in the different homes of their busy children, people that have no place in their lives for the struggles and presence of their lonely, ailing parents.

There are so many people that have fallen on hard times due to the economy, age, injuries, etc. and we tend to forget, in our healthy state, about the desperation people can feel as they try to hold tight to a sense of humanity and self-respect. I don't believe that most people would intend to be a burden on another, and this movie was a great example of how caught up we can get in being unfeeling towards those that perhaps slow us down or unintentionally encroach on our day to day lives, by no fault of their own. I was guilty of this behavior in my teen years, and regret it to this day.

There are some very powerful scenes when the couple portray the knowing of not belonging anywhere and feeling a burden, as well as the scenes of friendship, mutual respect and unconditional love that have gotten their characters through 50 years of marriage. I know it's just a movie, but stories like these serve as such a wonderful reminder of the type of love we should aspire to have, as well as how we should treat others and plan for our future (it covered a lot of ground!) I loved the dialogue between the elderly couple; the words they used with one another, their inside jokes, the way they spoke of one another when they were with others and the care and concern for the others well-being at the expense of their own happiness. It's romantic in a timeless, yet humble way, and I highly recommend it... but have your tissues ready.

Below is a poem Beulah Bondi recites in the film. I hope you will take the time to watch this movie. I haven't been held to watch a film without getting distracted by something in a long time, but this kept my attention rapt.

A man and a maid stood hand in hand;
bound by a tiny wedding band.
Before them lay the uncertain years
that promised joy and, maybe tears.
"Is she afraid?" thought the man of the maid.

"Darling," he said in a tender voice,
"Tell me. Do you regret your choice?
'We know not where the road may wind,
'or what strange byways we may find.
'Are you afraid?" said the man to the maid.

She raised her eyes and spoke at last.
"My dear," she said, "the die is cast.
'The vows have been spoken. The rice has been thrown.
'Into the future we’ll travel alone.
'With you," said the maid, "I’m not afraid."

Be an Event Planner (Dinner Party Edition)

Hello everyone!! As part of my fabulous job, I am writing informative posts on event planning on our company's blog and my latest post is on getting behind the pretty napkins and decor of a dinner party to the steps it takes to run a smooth, guest-focused celebration. Please check it out and let me know your thoughts!

Be an Event Planner (Dinner Party Edition)

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

One of the questions we're often asked is what it takes to be an event planner. Prior to working here, I would dream about the lovely favors, the food, the color palettes and song lists that I would feature for different events, but having worked with a company with such a discerning clientele, I have realized that all of those elements are just icing on the cake. What makes the job wonderful but challenging, and gives you that moment of accomplishment at every event, is seeing the arrival of your guests into a party where you have carefully thought out each and every detail so that they can let go of the outside world and become fully immersed in the convivial atmosphere of your celebration.

Many people think of parties in terms of themes; a Halloween party, a bridal shower, an anniversary. While this is an important component, there are a multitude of details that are just as pertinent to the feel of your party. Event planning requires both right and left brain thinking, fusing logistical and critical thinking with creativity. You can't think in terms of just creating a pretty party, you must put yourself in the position of chef, server, bartender, DJ, lighting technician, rental company, venue coordinator, valet, and last but not least, guest. While you have been living and breathing this event, most of the vendors, sub-contractors and especially the guests, have not. It is your responsibility to envision every scenario that may come up, and find ways to make the experience an enjoyable one for those present. In some ways, this seems to me a bit like baby-proofing a home. You want them to enjoy themselves and yet you want to take measures to prevent your guests from encountering something that will deter from their enjoyment.

While you may be just starting on a career to event planning, or perhaps looking for insight for your next celebration, I think a great place to familiarize yourself with the inner workings of any event is to plan a dinner party. This micro-version of a bigger fête gives us a chance to really explore ways to make a celebration wonderful, and what things to look out for as your guest list grows.

Here are a few examples of things to think about for the main components of a dinner party. This list is not complete, but hopefully it will give you insight into thinking like an event planner, and help make your next event a glorious one.

Planning a Dinner Party

* What will they be eating? Are there any dietary restrictions? Do you have all of the necessary kitchen equipment, as well as the flatware, china, salt and pepper shakers, bread baskets, linens, glasses, etc. that your guests will require to enjoy the food being served?

* When will they be eating? If you've opted out of dinner and are just serving appetizers, but your party is near dinner time, should you move the time of the event or plan on having more food (crudités, assorted foreign and domestic cheese, meats and fruits, small plated appetizers, etc.)? How much time does each course take to prepare and when will each course need to be started to insure a smooth flow between courses (and if you're hosting, give you time to enjoy dinner with your guests?)

* What will they drink? Is there specific glassware that is expected with the types of drinks you're offering? Do they pair well with what you're serving? What temperature should the wines be served at, and do you need to decant the red wines? Have you created a fun drink to complement your event, perhaps one that is seasonal or a guest of honor's favorite? How much beverage product will you need to have on hand, and oh, did you pick up the ice and mixers?

* Where will used plates, glasses and garbage go? Do you have a designated area where items can be put so they're out of sight until after the party? Stacks of dishes on the kitchen counter where many guests like to congregate will be an eyesore and may cause some overly kind guests to start helping you clean up. Perhaps a table right outside around the side of the house where things can be set until later would be a better option.

* Is your home party-friendly? Is there parking for guests? Is the bathroom fully stocked? If you have pets, have you made sure they are safe and will not feel encroached upon, nor bother guests? Do you have a phone number for a taxi service for guests that over imbibe or do you have an extra pair of jammies in case someone needs to stay the night?

* What are your guests doing besides eating? Even among the most well-meaning crowds, it is still inevitable that guests will arrive at different times, so you need to have a way to entertain them prior to dinner. Light food and drink stations for those arriving with an appetite (and trust me, people like having something to hold in their hands such as a glass of wine) or a fun ice breaker activity. There are a multitude of options online, so find one that is tailored to your crowd and the type of celebration. When dinner's over, have something to keep the party going such as a playful game of charades or Pictionary, or transform your backyard into a make-shift late night venue such as a lounge with soft lighting and music or a drive-thru theater with a projector, cozy blankets and pillows, and popcorn.

My final words of advice are from Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project which is "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good." You can get things as right as you could imagine, but there's a good chance something won't go as planned. If, and when, that crazy thing happens, take a deep breath and remember the spirit in which you decided to host this celebration. Your guests are grateful for your efforts, and you should be proud of yourself for taking on a task that most people find incredibly daunting. Learn from it, then let it go.

If you have any questions about your party, feel free to post them below, and I will reply as soon as I can. Happy planning!

30 Life Lessons from 30 Years

My 30th Birthday is coming up, and it's definitely one of those milestone birthdays that makes you look back and reflect on the lessons you've learned, as well as to remind yourself of all the wonderful things you hope to experience in the future.

As fate would have it, I found this terrific article with 30 Life Lessons From 30 Years written by Joshua Milburn of The Minimalists. It has triggered me to begin compiling my own list, but in the meantime, I found this writer's words such a great reminder of what the trials and triumphs of being on this planet for 30 years have given to me in terms of insight, wisdom and revelations. While I'm still a work in progress, I am grateful for the experiences, good and bad, that have guided me to a better understanding of love, career, friendships, relationships and true success.

Holes in my confidence, holes in the knees of my jeans

I had to share this wonderful video. It has so many moments of delight: boldness, compassion, generosity, living in the moment, the sheer joy on her face, dreams come true and the support of those present. I am so happy for this woman, Rayna, and Paul Simon's connection to his fans.

The Not So Nice Side of Nice

While it is neither a male nor female issue, many people struggle with being too nice. We don't want to offend, we don't want to be scolded, we want to be liked by everyone, even if we don't actually like them.

I often struggle with this niceness thing, often finding myself acting in ways that go against my better judgment and treating strangers or people I don't particularly care for better than the people that I really, really do.

For example: I've often given ridiculously thought out gifts to people I barely knew when I've come to an agreement with my true friends that we don't really need to do gifts. Why? Because I wanted this new, untested, not really a friend yet person to like the really nice, incredibly thoughtful gift giving me. And once you're my friend, I won't have to give you gifts anymore. Yikes! This leads me to my first point about being nice...

Being nice can be manipulative. Whether it's to make oneself so meek to avoid being dealt with honestly or to "nicey-nice" someone into getting your way, nice is not so nice. Nice doesn't acknowledge boundaries, those of others, or those that should be understood about oneself. Nice does too much, but never feels like it has done enough. Nice is exhausting!

In the book, "The Nice Factor: The Art of Saying No," the authors describe the word nice as a "weak modifier." And it's true. Nice is not usually a way you want to be described. "That's nice," usually means it isn't. If someone says he's a nice guy, it usually means his other attributes aren't noteworthy. If someone says my dress looks nice, I usually change.

In describing a person, nice is now more commonly thought of as someone who is passive, submissive, mild, or as a past mentor put it "nice" is uptight and out of sight. Nice doesn't know how to say no. Nice doesn't have a voice, even when it comes to a cause that nice cares about because it might offend someone. When I imagine someone who is "nice," I tend to see a person with their feet side-by-side, sensible shoes on beige carpet, hands clasped, lips sealed and big eyes waiting for outside approval to say "Yes, congratulations. You're nice."

Say NO to NICE!!!

What's more important is for us to be kind. Kind is specific. It thinks of others and it is active. When I think of someone who is kind, I imagine them doing something to ease the suffering of another. I see them aware of their abilities and compassion and sharing that with the world. That kind person seems strong, capable, focused. There are accomplishments in their past, decisions they've made that have earned them this description. Kindness doesn't want for the acknowledgement of others. It just is.

Kind knows itself and doesn't need to keep proving itself again and again. Kindness pairs well with other traits like assertive, sexy, courageous, wacky, funny. Nice has to be constantly on guard, not letting down its facade, agreeing to everything to prove how nice it is. Nice doesn't want to impose, oppose or offend. Nice is self-serving, kind is selfless.

Kind is how you are, nice is how you think you have to be. If you're kind, you don't have to be nice. Instead, you can be a lot of other things, wonderful things, interesting things, strong things.

Above image from: inspiredtype.wordpress.com

Remember the First Kiss?

So sweet!! Wherever you are, I hope this inspires a good bit of kissy face with your honey this weekend to remember how fun it can be!